095: Not Just Another Day

It was a wonderful day, cooling and windy, but nonetheless, wonderful, without any hint of rain. You and yours friends or loved ones were spending some precious moment together. It was great to finally get some free time to relax after countless days of keeping up with schedule, running around to meet deadline, and all those boring stuff you did at work.

You were probably hanging out with your friends at a cafe, having a sip of coffee and savoring those sinful but divine cheesecake that was topped with some chocolate sauce and a half-sliced piece of strawberry. When the cake entered your mouth and landed on the tip of your tongue, you thought, “ooohhh, this is life”. Great ambience, awesome friends, mouthwatering desserts, what else can you ask for?

The day was going great for awhile, but something was diverting your attention. At the far corner of your eye, you noticed a van. You turned to take a glimpse at it, because it was hauntingly beautiful. A van with transparent glasses, where you can see the content of the vehicle. Flowers were arranged around a big box, and you thought it belongs to a florist. Then you realized that the box was actually… a coffin.

That’s when you were reminded that life is short. Too short that it will not even last a hundred years (unless you’re one of those few lucky (or cursed) ones). You were reminded repeatedly about your mortality. Some days you just shrugged it off, and some days you reflect on your life. Today is not the day that you just sweep it under the rug. “What have I done so far in my life? Is this what I want? Have I achieved my dreams? Will I be remembered when I die?”. Probably others will ask, “What will happen to my Facebook account? Will they post condolences on my wall? Who will manage my account to add old friends that I did not manage to accept? Will my blog be a relic for people to remember me by?”.

This is cliche, but you never know when you will die. You wondered if you have fulfilled your dreams and responsibilities. Will it even matter? You’re dead, and you only need to worry about what happen after your death. Will you become a ghost? Will you be facing God? Will you be in heaven or hell? Will your soul be transferred to another universe or dimension? Will you even realize that you’re dead?

But do we even want to mull over it? It does gives me the chills. I don’t want to die. I want to be immortal and still look like I’m 21. Wistful thinking, but I hope it will happen. If I’m still going to die, at least create the cure to growing older, please?

091: Another New Beginning

2010 was a great year. Well, it may not be all smooth sailing, but it was an enriching year.

Earlier this year (or should I say last year), I was optimistic about what the year will bring me. I was close with a woman whom I fell for, spent most of the time together, stayed over her place and have quality time with her. We kinda shared many things in common.

Two weeks after my birthday, she decided to severe all ties, and I was lost. I was kind of depressed, and kept thinking about how to amend things. But it was really the end, and there was nothing I could do to prevent it.

Every dark clouds have a silver lining though. A couple of month after that, I was offered a new job. If she was still around, I would not have survived in this new company. You see, when you start on a new job, you need full concentration and no distraction. She used to call me every few hours, and that would have distracted me. So I left the company that I have been with for three years, where I did not received any salary increment or bonus. It was stupidity on my part for staying that long.

The new job was not merciful. It was chaotic, messy, and.. stressful? But I liked it. All my previous jobs were too easy for me, to the extend of insulting my intelligence. I have more responsibilities in that new job. The slightest mistake will cause the whole office to panic and start thinking of ways to resolve the issues. We ended up doing overtime, and getting back home late. Not helping either when you were preparing for your graduation project. I did finish my project though, and when the day for the presentation came, I was prepared. I even got an ‘A’ for it. It’s either I was lucky, or I’m really that damn smart.

Despite the piling workload, I was still prepared to further my education. A few months after getting my results, I registered for a Bachelor’s degree. Who would have thought that I would be doing a degree? I shouldn’t be gloating though. I’m just in the second term now, and there are still so much to do. Not forgetting that I have four assignments due soon, and I have yet to get started.

Back to the new job. It was good. Better salary. I even received a bonus! I’m still finding another job though. I need to do something I like. I studied mass communications for a reason. I want a job related to my field of study. I have to believe that I can get it this year.

2010 have been good to me. I need to believe that 2011 will be much better. Need. I will dispel any negativity and believe. Faith is all I have now.

These are the two words that I need to hold on to: Faith and Believe.

090: The progress so far…

I have just finished my first term for my Bachelor. The assignments were mind-blowing. You see, for two of the assignments, I have to read some articles and make some references to Aristotle, and his three rhetorical approach to convince and persuade people. The articles given were interesting, something that I would definately read. But to analyze and write a critique on it? Woah…

I failed miserably. I’m not referring to the grades. I passed five of the six assignments (I’m still waiting for the result of the last assignment to be released) mind you. I got one Distinction and four Credits, which sucks actually, because I should have worked harder and get all distinction for the assignments. But you know me, always waiting till deadlines to start on those assignments. I cannot believe that I’m still fooling around even at degree level.

Now back to my failure. For one of the assignments, I decided to work on a piece of article regarding former U.S President Bush. It was quite a long piece, with two A4 size pages of text with fonts of 10. I spent a week analyzing that article, but still couldn’t grasp the whole purpose of the writer for that article. I gave up eventually, and focussed on an article by a prisoner of war who uses emotional appeals and abstraction to persuade the audience to disagree with an agreement between his country and Japan (due to the WWII apocalypse). It was easier, but I only received a Credit for it! Humph!!

There’s a couple of other failures as well, but let’s not elaborate further. For now, I’ll just wait for the last assignment’s result and be prepared for the start of a new term this Friday.

P/S: Have you seen my new hair?

089: *blank*

I was reading through my previous entries in this blog (not the old one). And I find the older entries interesting (self-praising mode activated). Now, I don’t know how to construct an interesting entry.

What is wrong with me?!

Dear creativity, please hit me…

088: A Different Direction

I’m not sure if I have made the right decision, but hell, I’ve made it, and I need to make the best of it. I scrapped the plan to continue with my Advance Dip. I left that school (half-heartedly), to start on a new journey.

I’ll be taking my Bachelor of Arts instead! You have to admit, Adv Dip is bullshit. I don’t understand why a university whose ranking is not that great have strict requirements. I am enrolled in a much better Uni now (and definately harder), so it’s time to buck up and stop fooling around (okay, I won’t stop, but let’s not make that often).

Orientation last Tuesday was rather… entertaining. Let’s see if there is more entertainment to come (I doubt so, but let’s just hope). My only gripe is that the CD-Rom that was given by the Uni won’t work with my awesome Macbook Pro!!! Argghhh!!!!

Maybe it’s time to install Windows on my Mac. I’ll just allocate a small space for it (1 GB can?).

Looks like I’ll be friends again with Windows (just friends, coz I’m married to Mac).

If only they have a Mac Edition for me…

087: A Stranger In An Island

I no longer feel at home. The faith I had diminishes with each passing day. There is no pride in being here. I am constantly being stepped upon by people who are supposed to be the strangers.

We are no longer the pride of the establishment. Just take a look at our surroundings. The filthy rich and the pathetically poor, establishmentarian vs. disestablishmentarian, the blind patriotic vs. the ‘anarchist’, heavy censorship vs. free speech, and the list goes on and on. The former are triumphant, no matter how big their size are. We are blinded by the propaganda machines that present itself in the form of media.

People demand change. No, there will be no change. We are comfortable with the current situation. We know the truth, but prefer lies. Lies are simple. Simple is bliss. We admit defeat, and live in decline. Change is farfetched. I know it. You know it. We know it.

There will be no change. Stop hoping. Stop believing. It’s time to leave. I desperately need to leave. They remove the ‘pro’ in progress and add an ‘ag’ and an ‘ion’ in it.

I want to leave.. Any kind soul willing to spare me $300,000? No, I won’t pay back.

086: Goodbye (This time, it’s for good)

Dear Windows,

I know it’s hard for you to accept the fact that you’re no longer good enough for me. How can I be happy with crashes, viruses, and 1000 more things that you cannot stay away from? We have been together for more than 10 years. Fuck, I’ve spent half of my life with you!!!

This time, I’m really leaving you. Sure, you tried to make it up by releasing Windows 7. But you can never satisfy my lust for speed, efficiency, and 1000 other things that you can’t provide for.

I’ll never forget about you though. How can I? I go to work everyday, and I have to face YOU!!! We may not be in a relationship anymore, but we are still colleagues. And you will be one of those people that I hate at work (you just freezes on me earlier today at work, and I have not fucking saved my documents!).

I’ll never forget the times we had together though. We have gone through thick and thin together. From those enormous floppy disk to the smaller ones (now, they are extinct). CD writer to USB memory sticks. Windows – Windows 95 – Windows 98 – Windows ME: Millennium Edition (call it Mistake Edition) – Windows XP – Windows Vista – and now, Windows 7. And of course, our journey to more than a million websites over the years.

Let’s not reminisce over these bitter sweet memories. It’s over now. I’ve found more than just viruses, slow loading, and crashes. She is definately much more better than you, and she will be mine forever (or maybe until something better comes out. Hey, I’m a guy! Deal with it!).

Goodbye. I’ll miss you… NOT!

Yours sincerely,
Iqbal ‘DaemonChylde’ Mohamed